Thursday, March 1, 2012
Just for giggles because I have a head cold
Basically this movie is an ad for the water related wares of the Military Industrial Complex. Special boats, special SEAL grade planes, special extra awesome SEAL submarines, parachutes, goggles, guns, and strange long haired camouflage that I'm sure looks a lot less Star Wars-y when you see it in person, all in flat black with EXTRA FUCKING HONOR.
Of course there is absolutely no mention of WHY these men are being called upon to use billions of dollars of military hardware to rescue a hot chick in a tank top (literally, it so fucking hot there! How do those people stand it?), lest we allow an awareness of perverse politics to disrupt this gripping human drama (now with REAL SEALS! Most likely a terrible mistake!)
By all means let us take the discussion down to the meaningless level of not just the individual, but the individual SEAL, a personage vested with unquestioning rule following mojo more powerful than anything our pondering this mortal coil, "I'm not particularly interested in dying for that jackass, Bobby", consequence considering civvies can comprehend. And that's just the point: by fully obscuring the possibly corrupt high level machinations that created the situation in which SEALS unleash their ninja like prowess and brilliant one liners like "that aint gonna happen" and "boys, we gotta roll", all that's left to do is cry quiet tears of awe inconspicuously into our cuff. Bros before hos!
A quick aside: That guy talking on the phone with the F-18 taking off without ear protection would have been completely unable to hear his wife AND would be totally deaf now:
Hot Pregnant Wife holding down the flippin fort in a fiercely supportive SEAL wife style: "Be safe"
SEAL: "What? There's a fucking F-18 taking off I can't hear you! Also, I'm deaf now!"
One more quick aside, the "this is way bigger than we thought it was " guy looks a little Sikh-y to me. Should I tell someone?
But they make up for all that silliness with the part where the underwater SEAL catches the dead guy before he hits the water. AMERICANS ARE SO FUCKING AWESOME AT DISALLOWING TROUBLESOME SPLASH!! AMERICUH, FUCK YEAH!!!
In any event, these guys aren't going to let whatever bad thing they are there to stop from happening to happen because that's not how they roll. And if Bobby dies, they'll honor the shit out of that guy.
Posted by Juliet at 1:38 PM